The MBA and Faires?

From Ask Ryan: 

Torii, Rockford, IL
Hey Ryan, I’ve heard that Tim Duncan likes to unwind by playing Dungeons and Dragons and attending renaissance fairs. Have you heard of any players with stranger hobbies than that?
You’ve obviously never heard of Tony Lavelli. The former four-time All American was a high-scoring forward with serious musical aspirations. In fact, Lavelli was so keen on entertaining crowds that he joined the Celtics on the condition that he could play his accordion at halftime during home games. Although this former Yale grad only stuck it out in the pros for two seasons (1949-1951), he went onto enjoy a long career as a songwriter and nightclub performer. If you’re a fan of accordion music, I’d personally recommend his two albums, All-American Accordionist and Accordion Classics, both of which are excellent for driving away unwanted houseguests.

What Promoters Say… What they Mean

Compiled by Mark Reed of Rusty Sword Productions, but true at Renaissance Faires everywhere:

• there are trees in the park —-one tree here and one tree there
• its a good spot—– no one else would take it
• there is always a breeze—- bring rope and stakes
• there may be wildlife—– bears count as wildlife
• we are short on volinteers—- your hauling your own trash
• your right next to the stage—– what did you say!!!!
• your right next to the guild—— who needs sleep anyway
• the priveys are close—- so are the flies
• your last booth—- you really pissed them off last year
• your first booth—– you REALLY pissed them off last year
• your right next to the beer garden—– you get to babysit
• you get enough room for all your pavilons—– if you stack them
• we give discounts for demos— they blew the entertaiment budget again
• its level—– sorry about the goffer holes
• its got alittle slope—- bring mountain gear
• we advertised—- one add in the penny saver
• easy drive in—— your on the main road
• we hired security—– some dude talking to the cute chick
• its in a nice park—- for the gang members
• it almost never rains—- bring a boat or sell tarps
• we juried—– you only have 12 people selling your stuff this year
• quit time is 10pm—– bring ear plugs
• actors camp is close—– close to the ants
• its a short walk—- up a 45% grade
• there will be a feast— hope you like spaggettie
• we got 5000 people last year— total for the park all year
• it can get cold at night—– bring the snow gear
• the locals know we are here—– all 50 of them
• hotels are within walking distance—- the fair is close to a highway
• we are trying something new—– everything else failed last year
• the rain will stop—— were do you buy goffer wood?
• there is shade—– one tree in the middle of fair
• theres a food court—- 20 different kinds of popcorn
• theres lots of room—- at least 6 extra inches on one side
• we are taking new vendors—– all the others fled last year
• theres a new vendor corr.—— reggies back
• theres a new ED corr—– what time do i go on stage?
• we hired a new fair director—- your booths over there now
• parking is close—– you just have hike a mile around the fence
• we wont have anyone but you next year—- please dont bail please
• limited number of vendors—– 200 is a limit too
• limited number of guilds—– small park
• i have a perfect spot for you—– behind the privies
• camping on site—- parks 20 miles from any town
• we relaxed the fair—- blue tarps and pokimon are ok
• you wont be back next year—- only if your doing time in folsom
• we wont alow him back—- only if HE IS doing time in folsom
• we are looking for sponcers—– last year bombed
• apps. are due on the 15th—- no wait the 20th,no wait pay at gate
• its a new fair——- all of the above